My child just turned 18….now what?

Congratulations!  Your child just turned eighteen and in the eyes of the law is now an adult.

It doesn’t matter that he or she still lives with you or that you pay all of the bills. When it comes to healthcare you no longer have the right to access medical information or make medical decisions for your child. Most people don’t think estate planning is something an eighteen year old needs to think about, but it turns out having a few key documents is more important than you may think.

Health Care Proxy, HIPAA Designation & Living Will

The most important documents your newly minted adult child should have are healthcare documents. Since you no longer have a say in his or her medical care (even if he/she is covered by your health insurance plan), your child should have at the very least the following documents:

• Health care proxy
• HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996) designation
• Living will

Health Care Proxy

A health care proxy is a document that names individuals a person trusts to carry out his wishes and to make healthcare decisions on his behalf if he is ever incapacitated. For those who are not yet eighteen, their parent has the right in most cases to make medical decisions on their behalves. But as soon as the clock strikes midnight on your child’s eighteenth birthday, that is no longer the case.

Focusing on your child’s care is the number one priority. In the event of a medical emergency, you want to be able to confer with your child’s medical team and make time-sensitive decisions, rather than get caught up in a legal battle over who has the right to make such decisions.

HIPAA Designation

Years ago, it was rather easy to get medical updates for a loved one in the hospital or to pick up medical records for a member of your family. It turned out that it was a little too easy. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act changed all of that.

Now, parents cannot speak to their adult child’s doctors or get updates without permission from their child. If your child is simply having his appendix removed and able to sign a HIPAA form before anesthesia is administered, that is great.

• But what happens if your child arrives at the hospital and is not able to sign documents?
• What happens when your child’s college calls to tell you that she has been rushed to the ER but because of the HIPAA laws, can’t tell you why?

A signed HIPAA form will allow you to communicate with your child’s medical team even if there is no emergency. You can speak with his doctor about his allergies, medication, and other medical issues. It will also allow you to speak with the insurance company about bills that need to be paid or if you have questions about covered procedures.

Having a signed HIPAA form long before you need to use it is key. Don’t wait for there to be an emergency because all too often, by that point, it is too late.

During the height of COVID, when no visitors were allowed in the hospitals, HIPAA authorization forms proved vital for receiving updates about a loved one. Now imagine your 18 year old child having her appendix out during COVID – not only would you be precluded from visiting her, you may not be able to get updates.

Have your child sign a HIPAA authorization right away!

Living Will

A living will is a document that would allow you (if your child opts to name you as the agent) to make end of life decisions if the situation ever arises. As parents, it is the last thing we want to think about, but the alternative is having a team of doctors or a judge make the decision instead of you.

Durable Power of Attorney

Additionally, your child should also consider signing a durable power of attorney. This document allows agents (like you, but of course your child may opt to name another person) to deal with non-medical issues on her behalf.

A power of attorney agent can pays bills, access financial assets, file taxes, apply for loans, deal with real estate, apply for government benefits, and the like. Even if your child does not have a lot of assets, the document can come in handy for simple things such as forwarding mail, replacing a lost or stolen credit card, canceling the debit card that the ATM “ate” during a midnight pizza run, etc.

If your child will be far from home for college or decides to study abroad, a power of attorney is even more critical. Not all financial transactions can be done remotely and if there is no local bank branch where your child is located at the time he may need you to handle matters for him at your local branch.

Will

If your child does have considerable assets, she should consider drawing up a will.

For most eighteen year olds this is not needed because they typically don’t own much, but you should speak with your estate planning attorney to see what makes the most sense based on your child’s needs.

While this may seem scary or even overwhelming, a good estate planning attorney will walk you and your child through the documents. You will likely find that the entire process is much smoother than you ever could imagine.

Taking care of the "what ifs"

Hopefully, you will never need to use the documents but having them in place is key.  Think of it like your homeowner’s insurance policy – you buy a policy because of all the “what ifs”, hoping you will never need to use it. If you don’t have an insurance policy in place, you can’t get it in the middle of a hurricane.

Have your child execute health care documents and a power of attorney now, so that if there ever is a storm in his or her life you will be prepared and can focus on your child’s needs.